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January 28, 2021
By Wendell Thomas
As a society, we have been relying on and using digital technology more and more to connect and live. The COVID-19 pandemic has moved us more into the digital space as we work-from-home, virtually attend school, and use electronic forms of communication 24/7 as a way of life. This means that increased knowledge about cybercrime is more important now than ever. While January is recognized as National Stalking Awareness Month, we should also raise awareness of cyberstalking at any time during the year.
So, what is cyberstalking and what are the steps you can take to protect yourself?
What is Stalking?
Most of us might be aware of the meaning of stalking. We’ve either have experienced it first-hand, know someone who experienced it or have seen it in movies or television. Stalking can involve secretly following the victim, consistent and devious phone calls, sending unwanted gifts, and other means of unwanted physical contact. For more information on stalking behaviors, visit our facts about Stalking page.
What is Cyberstalking?
Like stalking, cyberstalking is intended to threaten, harass, and embarrass, only with cyberstalking, technology is used. The technology used by cyberstalkers can include social media, email, instant messaging (text and SMS), computers, mobile devices, and information available on the Internet. Over the past ten years, instances of reported cyberstalking have risen as stalkers have more access to victims’ personal information from online and social media platforms.
Cyberstalking poses additional threats, such as sexual harassment, sexual extortion, and damaging a person’s reputation. When you add physical and cyberstalking, the threats are compounded and pose more significant harm. Our new normal, being totally virtual for work, school, and a host of other activities, makes it easier for cyberstalkers and cyberbullies to track and harass users.
Here a few key tips to safety plan against cyberstalking:
How to report cyberstalking
Although cyberstalking laws differ from state–to–state, you should still consider reporting any stalking activity to your local law enforcement agency. The process may not be as fast as you see on TV detective dramas, and it may take some time to resolve. Your first impulse might be to delete the stalker‘s messages or recordings, however, these digital records can help you build a case. Try to keep digital records or copies of harassing emails, messaging, recordings, and screenshots as evidence.
You can also report the stalker to the platform on which the harassment occurs. For example, you can go to the Facebook Help Center for instructions on what to do if you‘re cyberstalked. It could take some time, but most social media platforms and websites have strict policies against stalking. After reporting, you could block the stalker and stop interacting with them.
Though cyberstalking remains a constant threat, being vigilant and taking some of these steps will help safeguard yourself against it.
If you are a victim of cyberstalking and seeking help, please call Safe Horizon’s hotline at 1(800) 621–4673 (HOPE) or visit our website at https://www.safehorizon.org/get-help/stalking/.
Healthy Women
By Kimberly Rex
January 6, 2021
January is National Stalking Awareness Month.
“I can see you.”
That’s the text Grace Alexander remembers most — because it was chilling. The words that followed complimented the pink floral top she was wearing as she bowled with her family.
This message from her ex-husband was just one of many, along with phone calls filled with threats of violence to himself, to Grace, and to her family. After blocking his number, Grace received calls from unknown numbers and often spotted his truck nearby, even though she believed she’d left him behind in another state.
After the bowling alley, Grace filed for a restraining order, thinking a judge would see the case clearly. She was hopeful in court when she saw a woman on the bench, but the judge believed her ex-husband’s claim that he’d been texting another woman with the same name, despite his description of Grace’s clothing.
That’s when Grace knew she needed to get even farther away.
According to the CDC, nearly one in six, or 19.1 million, U.S. women are victims of stalking at some point in their lifetime, and the majority of perpetrators (61.5%) are current or former intimate partners.
Most victims stalked by a partner also experience other types of violence by the same hand. “There’s a huge correlation. If you’re stalked by an intimate partner, you’ve likely also been previously assaulted by that partner or experienced sexual assault,” said Jennifer Landhuis, director of The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC), a federally funded project that provides education and resources about stalking.
Grace’s husband was physically and sexually abusive, raping her while she was eight months pregnant. When she finally saved enough money to divorce him, she legally moved away with her three kids, but he followed.
Grace’s experience with the judge who didn’t grant her restraining order was not unique. Despite the prevalence of stalking, a lack of acknowledgment by the criminal justice system and others is an ongoing issue.
Maureen Curtis, vice president of Criminal Justice and Court Programs at Safe Horizon, the largest nonprofit victim services agency in the United States, explained that stalking behavior can be viewed as innocuous because it doesn’t necessarily involve physical harm, but it needs to be taken more seriously. “[Stalking] is one of the indicators of future lethal violence … so when there’s stalking in a relationship, we need to … treat it seriously, so that person gets meaningful services available for them,” Curtis said.
Though the typical age of stalking victims is 18 to 24, 44.5% of victims are over 25, with 10.5% between 35 and 44 years old, and 7.6% over age 45. Grace was 40 years old when her stalking began.
Age seems to be irrelevant when it comes to the tactics perpetrators use — the most common of which are unwanted messages and phone calls, followed by threats of physical harm and showing up at a victim’s location. Regardless of the victim’s age, the psychological effects can be the same.
“There’s definitely a very chronic trauma as a result of stalking. It’s not just like an acute trauma, meaning it’s not just that it’s a stressful experience to go through, and then once the stalking stops, then the victims just go on with their normal life. It changes the chemistry in your brain to go through such a scary experience,” said Liza Mordkovich, psychotherapist and founder of Brooklyn Center for Mindfulness and Psychotherapy. The lasting effects may include PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
“In general, we’re programmed to remember the bad stuff that happened to us, because it’s like a survival mechanism. If you touch a hot oven as a kid … you’re gonna remember for the rest of your life to be careful around an oven. So when you go through an experience like that, where really safety is a concern, it isn’t something that you’re ever going to forget,” she explained.
Grace only felt safe when she moved overseas. After she couldn’t get the restraining order, she purchased a shotgun — feeling forced to go against her beliefs about firearms in order to protect herself and those she loved — and expedited her plans to move to another country. Since her ex was put on the no-fly list after his involvement in a green card scam, Grace knew he could never reach her once she settled in a foreign country.
But Mordkovich said even when the threat no longer exists, many victims are left grappling with mental health issues, which can manifest in other areas of their lives. Early, evidence-based treatments such as cognitive processing therapy and dialectical behavior therapy are helpful and sometimes necessary. Support groups can also be very effective.
Since March, we’ve been told that staying home will keep us and others safe. Unfortunately, for stalking victims, this isn’t always true.
Research on COVID-19’s effects on stalking explains that the isolation of quarantine can magnify stalkers’ feelings of rejection and intensify fixations, leading to increased stalking behaviors. Victims’ inability to leave home means perpetrators always know their location. According to a study by the digital security company Avast, there was a 51% increase in the use of online spyware between March and June, 2020.
Curtis explained that her agency made most of their programs remote and spread the word in order to combat this. “Particularly early on, we were really strategic in making sure that survivors knew that many of our programs were working remotely,” she said.
More advocates were added to Safe Horizon’s live chat option, and the agency worked virtually with government partners and other organizations to help victims.
Fortunately, there are many resources available for victims of stalking. “There’s a network of domestic violence and sexual programs all across the country,” Landhuis explained.
Victims can call hotlines, like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which both also offer live chat. Expert advocates will give support, share information, and refer callers to appropriate programs nearby.
And, if one of your friends is a target of stalking or another form of intimate partner violence, the best thing you can do is be present. Social support can have a strong positive effect on lasting mental health issues. Check in and ask your friend what they need.
“Don’t necessarily provide any advice … Just listen. Ask someone how they feel and just create that safe space,” Mordkovich said.
By Leah Scondotto
February 14, 2019
Every day at Safe Horizon we see the challenges stalking survivors experience when trying to seek safety. While many people think of stalking as a crime committed by a stranger, over 80% of stalking survivors know the offender (CDC, 2014). Stalking is a pattern of repeated and unwanted behaviors that creates fear in a person. Stalking is a method of coercion used to gain power and control over a partner. In this blog, I will explain the link between domestic violence and stalking and how the legal system can help stalking survivors.
Domestic violence involves violence or abuse by one person against another. It’s all about power and control. Stalking is one way abusive partners may attempt to gain or regain power and control over their current or former partners.
Partners engaging in stalking behaviors can be harmful because they know details of their partner’s lives, such as daily routines, family contacts, their place of work, etc.
In New York, stalking is a series of acts committed over time while harassment can be a one-time event or threat.
In stalking cases, the perpetrator engages in repeated behaviors that cause the victim to fear for their safety. Stalking may include repeated events of any unwanted communication, threats, or direct contact with the person or member of their immediate family.
For survivors of stalking, the legal options available may differ.
To build a stalking case, I recommend that someone experiencing stalking document everything! When I say document, I mean collect anything from paper notes left by the stalker to screenshots of text messages or social media messages. You can also write a log of the stalking activities.
Since the legal definition emphasizes a pattern of behavior, it’s important to show that pattern any way you can. Making reports of all events to the police can be crucial to proving your case. A growing list of reports can help establish this pattern of stalking behavior.
At Safe Horizon, we safety plan with all survivors of abuse and violence.
Safety planning involves discussing survivors’ unique needs and risks and addressing any safety concerns regarding themselves, their children, or their family members. We work with survivors to identify safety options and resources that may help increase their safety. This may include changing routines or other taking other steps to avoid a situation where they are alone with the stalker. Read more about how our advocates safety plan, here.
A snapshot of one of our Family Court Programs in Brooklyn.
Family Court Programs offer support for people who have children together, who are related by marriage or blood, and who are now or were in an intimate relationship.
At any Family Court Program, we can support individuals being stalked file an Order of Protection right from our office. An Order of Protection intends to limit the behavior of someone who harms or threatens to harm another person. It addresses various types of safety issues, including, stalking and domestic violence.
While many survivors report that the Order of Protection helped decrease stalking behaviors, it may not be the right course of action for everyone. Filing an Order of Protection may not cause the stalking to end. After an Order of Protection is served, survivors may come back to court for continued proceedings. Consider filing an Order of Protection as a possible starting point. We can continue to work with you to create and modify a safety plan tailored to your safety needs. We are here to guide you through any situation.
If you or someone you know is in a stalking situation, we are here to help.
My colleagues and I at the Family Court Programs can talk through a safety plan and offer practical steps that someone can take to further document any future incidents, including filing an Order of Protection. Here is a link to the Family Court Programs locations and hours.
Additionally, Safe Horizon has advocates stationed in every police precinct in the city through our Crime Victims Assistance Program (CVAP) and anyone may contact an advocate directly.
If you prefer to visit one of our community-based programs, my colleagues in our Community Programs can help safety plan, assist in documenting the situation and discuss further options
If you want to talk through your options, or just want a listening ear, you can call our 24-hour hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE (4673). Experiencing stalking can be difficult to manage and seeking help can be complex. However, you are not alone. Safe Horizon is here to help. For more information about stalking and other available resources, visit our Get Help: Stalking page.
By La-Keir Morris
January 31, 2018
Stalking is a serious crime that affects millions of people. According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking at some point during their lives. Since stalking is so prevalent and can often be dangerous, it is important to recognize stalking behavior and how to get help when you or someone you know is being stalked.
What is Stalking?
Stalking is a pattern of willful behavior engaged in by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are often threatening, coercive, and intimidating to the victim. The pattern of behavior by the stalker may include, but is not necessarily limited to, following the victim or obsessively monitoring the victim. The behavior can cause harm to the emotional and mental health of the victim as well as harm to their physical health, property or safety.
Here are some common stalking behaviors to help you identify if you or a friend is being stalked.
Cyberstalking is when someone uses technology to intimidate you or to monitor your behavior. An example might be when a person repeatedly and unwantedly reads your personal emails as a means of tracking you or your whereabouts. Sending threats via text, or gathering information that may be used to harass you are also examples of cyberstalking. Using social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to spread false rumors or accusations that make you fear for your physical or emotional safety are also considered cyberstalking. For more information on cyberstalking, click here.
Does your partner or someone else show up unexpectedly at places such as your workplace, gym, or even your home? If these behaviors make you feel uncomfortable or afraid, consider that it may be stalking, even if on the surface these behaviors seem innocent or innocuous.
Stalkers can send gifts such as flowers, letters, and photos to try to persuade you to begin or to resume a relationship, however unwanted and unsolicited this attention may be. For example, I worked with a survivor whose former intimate partner left pictures of them together after work meetings. Another found flowers on her desk. Her co-workers thought they were beautiful, but for her, they were a sign of danger.
Stalkers may reach out to friends, family or coworkers to get in touch with the survivor. They may lie to others and tell them that it’s an emergency in order to get information about the survivor’s whereabouts.
When stalkers retaliate, they can take it out on the survivor’s property. This includes anything from scratching cars and slashing tires to writing offensive messages on their homes or posting private documents or photos on social media.
You are not alone; it is not your fault; help is available.
If at any point you feel something is not right or you fear for safety, you can reach out to an advocate to get the support and help that you need. Many survivors may not realize they are being stalked because the behaviors seem minor or harmless when you describe them to others.
Safe Horizon’s 24-hour anonymous hotline is staffed with trained advocates who can provide a listening ear. Call us at 1-800-621–HOPE (4673) or visit our Hotlines page for more information.
The Victim Connect Helpline and Resource Center was created by The National Center for Victims of Crime to provide information and referrals for victims of all crime. The National Resource Hotline is available to help anyone around the nation. You can call their Helpline at 855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846) or visit their survivor help website here.
By Jill Reyes
March 31, 2017
Safe Horizon leads efforts to increase stalking awareness for teens and young adults. This includes online stalking behaviors, known as cyberstalking. Abusers can often use modern technology and social networking to intimidate and coerce their partners. To address growing concerns around cyberstalking for teens and young adults, we partnered with the Bronx Borough President’s Office, Bronx District Attorney’s Office, Bronx Family Justice Center, and New York City Department of Probation (DOP) to create the following stalking infographic that was supported with funding through the Department of Justice (DOJ):
The stalking infographic is a simple way to help teens and young adults identify controlling or negative behavior in the context of technology and social media. It proposes steps they can take if they feel that these stalking behaviors apply to their situation.
While some people are stalked by strangers, most stalking is committed by someone known to the victim, such as an intimate partner or acquaintance. Stalking can get more serious over time and can happen to anyone regardless of race, culture, gender identity, age, or sexual orientation.
Stalking is against the law in every state, however, the crime of stalking is defined differently in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and on tribal and federal lands.
If you, or a teen you know, is experiencing any of the harmful behaviors mentioned in the stalking infographic, please read or share the following infographic. You can also use and share our Tech Safety page as a guide, visit our domestic violence page, stalking page, or call one of our Hotlines.
By Dr. Amanda Stylianou
January 1, 2017
To raise awareness and speak about stalking, I will discuss the impact stalking has on individuals and the resources and tools available to support survivors.
*Natalia was experiencing stalking from her son’s father when she came to the Safe Horizon Bronx Family Court Program to obtain an order of protection.
“My son’s father he’s been really aggressive…He’s been coming to my house, he’s been having me followed. My boyfriend and I, he’s been following us. He’s making threats….I’m being threatened and he’s threatening my boyfriend and contacting my family and things like that. It’s just uncalled for and I don’t feel safe…He has threatened to murder me…He has threatened to, to also cause harm to my family if I guess we go against whatever he is trying to do…He has taken my son out of state and refused to bring him back until he was ready…I’m a woman. I cannot protect myself against a man, you know, but so far or but so much. And it’s just something I don’t think I should have to worry about…He makes references that, you know, like he sees me, he sees me doing this, or he sees me at this place…and it’s just like the only way you could be at all these places, that you know, I’m here is if you’re following me…It’s just enough is enough.”
And at Safe Horizon, we hear stories like Natalia’s every day of the year.
Stalking is a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Stalking can include a vast array of behaviors including:
And every year in the United States 7.5 million people are stalked. Approximately 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking at some point in their lifetime. And for both male and female victims of stalking, the perpetrator is most often someone known to the victim.
At Safe Horizon, we provide a range of services to support victims of stalking. From our 24/7 hotline to our Family and Criminal Court Programs to our Community Programs, we offer a comprehensive continuum of care to support victims in identifying safety plans and resources that will best support clients increase their safety. To learn more about what we do to support victims of stalking, click here.
* Client names and identifying information have been changed to protect their privacy. Images used are representations of Safe Horizon’s clients.
Getting along with her neighbors was difficult for *Suzanne, especially since they constantly harassed her, threatened her life and the lives of her children. The harassment had escalated to violence, and the neighbors attacked her young daughter. Her daughter managed to escape them and to run to her family’s apartment for safety, but the attackers followed close behind, and banged on the door until Suzanne finally opened it. When she did, one of the attackers lifted his shirt and flashed his gun at her.
He did it to scare Suzanne out of calling the police, and it worked. Soon afterward, Suzanne’s neighbors began stalking her and her children while continuing to harass and threaten them. They motioned their fingers at them as if they were shooting them, and warned them to watch themselves.
Suzanne could no longer take living with her abusive, dangerous neighbors. She and her family should have been able to live in their community without fearing that their lives were in danger. Yet they were intimidated, threatened, and attacked, and had become too afraid even to go outside. That’s why she came to our Criminal Court Program office, desperately hoping to get away from the terror she and her family had to endure.
Our staff sat down with Suzanne and listened to her story. Suzanne wanted to relocate, but needed to plan a way to keep her family safe until she could actually move. We helped her create a safety plan and explore options such as filing a police report, getting emergency housing assistance, and applying for financial assistance to help with the move. Suzanne had only filed one police report for the assault on her daughter. She had not reported those other incidents because she was too afraid that her neighbors would retaliate.
We explained that Suzanne could receive emergency housing assistance, but she would need to file police reports. We also explained that should her neighbors continue their harassment, without a previous record about it, the police would not be able to arrest them. Suzanne decided to file the police reports.
Once she did, we helped Suzanne receive status as an “Intimidated Victim” which made it possible for her to get emergency assistance more quickly. In less than a month, Suzanne had found a new apartment, and with our advocacy, she was able to receive emergency funds to help her pay for moving expenses.
As Suzanne and her family prepared to move, our staff worked with her to create a new safety plan, just in case her neighbors found out where she would live. We also provided a letter to Suzanne’s employer, explaining her family’s situation and requesting time for her to move her family to a safer place.
With Safe Horizon’s help, Suzanne gained the safety she and her family deserved. Suzanne also learned that in addition to getting help from the police, she could also depend on Safe Horizon to provide her with the tools she needed during her time of crisis. Suzanne and her family now have a new apartment and a new neighborhood, and they know if they ever need us again, we will be there to help.
* Client names and identifying information have been changed to protect their privacy. Images used are representations of Safe Horizon’s clients.