By La-Keir Morris
January 31, 2018

Stalking is a serious crime that affects millions of people. According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking at some point during their lives. Since stalking is so prevalent and can often be dangerous, it is important to recognize stalking behavior and how to get help when you or someone you know is being stalked.

What is Stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of willful behavior engaged in by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are often threatening, coercive, and intimidating to the victim. The pattern of behavior by the stalker may include, but is not necessarily limited to, following the victim or obsessively monitoring the victim. The behavior can cause harm to the emotional and mental health of the victim as well as harm to their physical health, property or safety.

Here are some common stalking behaviors to help you identify if you or a friend is being stalked.

1. Cyberstalking

Cyberstalking is when someone uses technology to intimidate you or to monitor your behavior. An example might be when a person repeatedly and unwantedly reads your personal emails as a means of tracking you or your whereabouts. Sending threats via text, or gathering information that may be used to harass you are also examples of cyberstalking. Using social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to spread false rumors or accusations that make you fear for your physical or emotional safety are also considered cyberstalking. For more information on cyberstalking, click here.

2. Unannounced and Unwanted Visits

Does your partner or someone else show up unexpectedly at places such as your workplace, gym, or even your home? If these behaviors make you feel uncomfortable or afraid, consider that it may be stalking, even if on the surface these behaviors seem innocent or innocuous.

3. Sending Unwanted Gifts

Stalkers can send gifts such as flowers, letters, and photos to try to persuade you to begin or to resume a relationship, however unwanted and unsolicited this attention may be. For example, I worked with a survivor whose former intimate partner left pictures of them together after work meetings. Another found flowers on her desk. Her co-workers thought they were beautiful, but for her, they were a sign of danger.

4. Attempting to Obtain Information from Others

Stalkers may reach out to friends, family or coworkers to get in touch with the survivor. They may lie to others and tell them that it’s an emergency in order to get information about the survivor’s whereabouts.

5. Vandalizing or Damaging Your Property

When stalkers retaliate, they can take it out on the survivor’s property. This includes anything from scratching cars and slashing tires to writing offensive messages on their homes or posting private documents or photos on social media.

Get Help

You are not alone; it is not your fault; help is available.

If at any point you feel something is not right or you fear for safety, you can reach out to an advocate to get the support and help that you need. Many survivors may not realize they are being stalked because the behaviors seem minor or harmless when you describe them to others.

Safe Horizon’s 24-hour anonymous hotline is staffed with trained advocates who can provide a listening ear. Call us at 1-800-621–HOPE (4673) or visit our Hotlines page for more information.

The Victim Connect Helpline and Resource Center was created by The National Center for Victims of Crime to provide information and referrals for victims of all crime. The National Resource Hotline is available to help anyone around the nation. You can call their Helpline at 855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846) or visit their survivor help website here.