By Liz Roberts
October 10, 2016
Safe Horizon is the nation’s largest victim service organization, providing a continuum of services for victims of domestic violence. I am often asked to speak about domestic violence at conferences for other social services professionals or to give a quote about the issue for news and media outlets. In this domestic violence FAQ, I will provide answers to some of the questions I am often asked about domestic violence.
What are some of the Common Misconceptions about Domestic Violence?
One of the most common reactions people have when they hear reports of domestic violence is to say “why doesn’t the victim just leave?” When you haven’t been through it yourself or worked with survivors, you may not realize that things often get worse before they get better when a victim of abuse makes the decision to leave.
Some of the barriers to leaving are concrete, like financial and housing worries, and others are emotional or cultural. Overcoming these barriers takes tremendous strength and courage. I’d like to hear people ask “why does the abuser do it?” rather than “why does the victim stay?” Instead of blaming the victim of the abuse, let’s turn our attention towards the person who is causing the harm.
What Important Non-Physical Aspect of Abuse is Frequently Overlooked?
Emotional abuse is often the most difficult component to overcome – an abuser’s constant putdowns linger in a survivor’s mind long after bruises have healed. Financial and sexual abuse are also common parts of an abusive relationship, can can have serious, lasting impact on survivors.
How Does Domestic Violence Impact Us as a Society?
Another common misconception about domestic violence is that it is a “private matter, ” playing out in a particular family and in a particular household. But actually domestic violence is hurting us all, every day.
Survivors are at greater risk for poor health, both physically and emotionally. The costs of this increased need for healthcare drive up healthcare costs for all of us. Survivors are also more likely to lose jobs (often because of the abuser’s interference with their work), and may be less productive at work, which impacts the economy. Children and teenagers who witness domestic violence are more likely to commit violent acts, making our schools and communities less safe. Also, if abusers perceive third parties such as friends or colleagues as helping victims escape their control, such bystanders can face violent retaliation as well.
Do you think Safe Horizon’s Work for Survivors of Domestic Violence Permeates the Organization as a Whole?
Domestic violence shows up in every one of our programs. At our Child Advocacy Centers, often the caregiver of the abused children is being abused, too. Child abuse and domestic violence are intimately connected – national studies show that 40 to 60 percent of child abuse takes place in the context of adult domestic violence. At our Anti-Trafficking Program, it’s not uncommon to learn that clients were initially vulnerable to exploitation because they were desperate to escape domestic violence in their homes. At our Streetwork Project, many of the homeless young people we serve describe childhoods in which they witnessed severe domestic violence.
The fact is, all forms of interpersonal violence are closely connected. Fortunately, at Safe Horizon, there is no wrong door for children and adults who have been harmed by domestic violence. Wherever survivors present, our expert staff is trained to respond in a client-centered, compassionate manner, making sure each client knows about the full range of options and resources available.
What Can People Do Who Want to Help End Domestic Violence?
Silence allows the issue of domestic violence to thrive. In 2015, Safe Horizon launched the #PutTheNailinIt campaign to spark a conversation around domestic violence by asking supporters to take the vow to end domestic violence.
People from around the world who want to help end domestic violence have been supporting and helping spread awareness of the campaign by following these three simple steps:
- Donate $1, $6, $16, $31 or any amount at www.PutTheNailinIt.org
- Paint your left ring fingernail purple (trust me, it’s a real conversation starter!)
- Share a picture of your purple nail on social media, using the hashtag #PutTheNailinIt
By doing these three things, you can help end the silence around domestic violence and raise funds to help Safe Horizon shelter thousands of domestic violence victims and their families, answer tens of thousands of calls to our domestic violence hotline, provide critical transportation for victims, legal assistance, counseling, and much more.
And now I have one question for you. Will you take the vow to help end domestic violence?