The Advocate
By Fabio Cotza
June 9, 2016
Excerpt Below:
It’s June and you can’t escape the rainbow.
As an openly gay man, I am proud to wave my rainbow flag. And so do countless corporations, media outlets, and politicians bringing an increased amount of attention to the LGBTQ community this time of year.
For a long time, the issue to rally behind was same-sex marriage. This meant a lot to me and my husband. Last year, a divided Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples can marry nationwide. After much celebration, the LGBTQ community collectively asked, “What’s next?”
While youth homelessness and violence in our community are among the most urgent issues we need to address, another, perhaps less talked about issue, is child sexual abuse.
Of children who are sexually abused, 20 percent are abused before the age of 8.
I was one of them.
My landlord’s teenage son approached me on the sidewalk as I was playing and asked if I wanted to see all the toys in the basement. His family had been so nice to mine — I had no reason to not trust him, and my mind was full of curiosity of all the cool toys he would have.
It was a nightmare.
The things that happened behind those doors are now painful memories that I must live with forever.
Today, as the senior director of Safe Horizon’s Bronx Child Advocacy Center, I understand that it wasn’t my fault. I was a target. He had my trust. I was young. I was only 8.
Perpetrators often believe that they can abuse with impunity because LGBTQ youth are already labeled as different by society and too often rejected by peers as well as family. Who will believe them if they come forward? Will anyone even care?
All of this paints the same picture: Child sexual abuse is an urgent issue and it deserves the LGBTQ community’s collective and immediate attention.
We need to stand together and demand justice for our community. But what does justice look like?
Unfortunately, in my home state of New York, you receive a devastating present on your 23rd birthday as a survivor of childhood sex abuse. Your ability to file charges on most forms of childhood sex abuse expires.
I always say that I came out twice in life. First as a gay man in my early 20s and then at age 28 as a survivor of sexual assault when I was more able to process the horrible thing that happened to me and speak out. But unbeknownst to me, I was five years too late. My opportunity to file charges had expired. I often wonder, why do these arbitrary time limits exist when it can take years for a survivor to come forward? As it did for me.
So, now with marriage equality having been realized and with the question “What’s next?” I call on the LGBTQ community to make addressing the issues of child sexual abuse a priority. First, by supporting legislation, such as the Child Victims Act, currently before the New York legislature that would greatly expand the ability of adult survivors to seek civil and criminal damages. It would also create a one-year window for survivors to retroactively file civil damages against their abusers.
Other states have already done it. What’s taking New York so long? Legislation including retrospective civil windows have passed in California, Delaware, Hawaii, and Minnesota, to name a few. Abusers should not be able to run out the clock. Not in New York. Not anywhere.
Survivors of this heinous crime, like myself, deserve justice.